Signs of Spring

Yesterday was tough. 

It was one of the toughest ones I've had in a while. 

I wasn't able to race to call Mom and try to be the first one to wish her a happy birthday... though the time difference thing did usually hurt me there.  I thought about calling her phone and leaving her a voicemail... but just couldn't do it.  Yesterday I couldn't pretend that she was busy and call me back later...

I struggle.

Every single day... I struggle.

I struggle to keep it together. 

I struggle to keep my chin up

I struggle to remember...

But today... today is a new day.  

The horrible winter is almost over.

I know this... because its spring now.

The first sign of spring to some people might be the first robin of the season... or the first flower popping through the dirt.

But for our family... there's never been something that said "spring" more than the first baby calf... and of seeing what it looks like. 

There are two "calf camps" in our house.  The ones who like the all black calves (Mom, Karri, and me aka "the right ones") and those who like black calves with white faces (Dad and Lindsey aka..."the wrong ones")...

And then there have been those random years when we get a "red" one... so we always name it Jacob.  =)

Mom LOVED seeing the new babies.  She kept count of how many we had had each day... what they looked like... where they were....

She would watch out the kitchen window into the field north of the house... and would call Dad if she saw something that concerned her... she would say, "I've been watching that cow for 2 hours..."

And if watching didn't satisfy her curiosity... or if Dad was taking too long... Mom would throw on her mud boots and walk out to check on it herself.  She was there to help pull calves.. or bottle feed them if needed..

For a city girl... she did pretty well on the farm... unless you were asking her to open the "damn gate"...

Every year, just like clockwork... the babies start arriving on or very, very close to Mom's birthday.

They didn't disappoint this year either.

The night before her birthday... black calf, black face... and the day of... black calf, white face.

Spring is here... and Mom is not.

But we survived the winter... so maybe there is hope.