Intervention Divine

A few days after Mom died, I said to James, "You know... I had kinda thought about having one more.... but now that Mom's gone, I can't."  "I know" he said.  "I know."  My Mom had been in the room with us when both the boys were born, and stayed those first exhausting days helping out, doing dishes, scrubbing the floor.... letting me cry, and just holding and loving my babies.

I would be lying if I said I hadn't still thought about another baby from time to time.   (And though he probably won't admit it... James had from time to time too.)  I was blessed with great pregnancies like my Mom... and have gorgeous babies... also like my Mom.  In the back of my head, I thought, "well if James gets out and gets a great job, and we get a little more financially stable... maybe I'll mention it."  But in the front of my head, I knew that there was NO WAY he would want to have a baby after age 40.

 And that was it.  In that brief exchange of words, we finally made the decision that we were done.

Of course we should have been done with Suttie.  The instant I held him for the first time, I felt this overwhelming sense of completion.  He was Ege boy number four.  He was the final "cog" in our Disneyland Family.  Being one of three... I knew what it was like to go to an amusement park and have to decide who was going to ride alone, or sit out. 

But more than that... we aren't getting any younger and it's not like we are rolling in the cash.  In fact, since James' retirement, finances have definitely been a big stress for us. 

How many times did my Mom tell me...."You never wait until you are ready to have a baby... because you'll never have a baby."

I imagine it only took Mom a short amount of time to find her way to Heaven's Nursery.  Just a few days after she passed, the circle of life continued with the birth of one of Lindsey's best friend's son.  Of course Mom would have been drawn to this new little "Dylan."  So when he was fighting for his life in those early days, I'm SURE that she was holding him tight, rocking him while the doctors here on Earth took care of him.  

I'm sure it was about the time little Dylan stopped needing her that she started looking around at all those other little souls, and made a shocking discovery.

Grandbaby Number #9

I'm sure she grinned a huge grin... and rubbed her hands together with anticpation as she made her way over to this new little soul. 

"Let Grandma Cindy hold you for a little while!" she must have said.

She must have known that she wouldn't get to hold this little one for long, so I'm sure she made the most of her time.  I'm sure she rocked this little one in a squeaky chair just like the one she had rocked all her other Grandbabies in.  "Oh you little Pumpkin Eater!" I'm sure she said more than once.  "Where's Grandma's sugar?" she surely asked... and then snuggled the baby's neck to find it. 

Even though there is probably no poop in Heaven... I'm sure she changed that little one's diaper multiple times... and gave that "dollbaby" several baths and slathered it in baby lotion... but only Johnson's...

And then she must have said, "Oh!  I'm gonna miss you so much!"  and then hugged the baby tightly for as long as she could...

And then... ready or not... she sent that baby to us.  Trusting us to love it as much as she did. 

And we will.  Because how you could NOT love a baby that has been hand picked for you from someone who loved babies so much.

ANY baby of ANY gender.

It's bittersweet for sure.  I have a really hard time looking at pictures of my Mom with her other 8 grandbabies... knowing that there will be no pictures of her with this little one.  It's hard knwing that she won't be in the room with us, or there to share in all those little milestones with this little one, but how lucky is this baby to have had that special time with Grandma Cindy in Heaven?

So there it is.  Through intervention divine... we are having grandbaby #9.

PS.

Please, please, please.  Do not ask if we are "hoping for a girl" or say "I bet this is your girl!  That is horribly offensive to us.  It implies that we were in some way dissappointed when our previous babies were boys.  We are hoping for a healthy baby.  We ADORE our boys.  My Mom ADORED our boys.  If she decided that the perfect baby for us was another boy we will be thrilled.  If she decided the perfect baby for us was a girl we will be thrilled.