I had quite the little meltdown a little while ago.  It was silly.  And I feel pretty ridiculous, but it is what it is.

Suttie and I were on our way to Tumble Tots, so I thought it was a good opportunity to give my Dad my quick daily call.  It was 6:30 his time, well past his normal time for getting home.

He didn't answer the house phone.  Strange, sure, but no big deal, so I left him a message.

Then I tried his cell phone.  It's been the joke since he got it that he couldn't escape the three of us girls anymore...

He didn't answer that either.

I started feeling a little panicky.

I tried the house phone again.  Maybe he had just been outside.  Still no answer.

My panic started rising.

This is how is starts you see....

You try to reach them and they don't answer.

In those short minutes... I started flashing back to Karri calling and saying she couldn't get ahold of Mom.

I CAN NOT survive this again.

So trying to keep my panic in check.  And knowing there is no way in Hell I could call Karri and put her in the same situation... I called my Uncle Chad.

I (not so) casually asked if he knew if my Dad had any plans for tonight... and he didn't. 

I started crying on the phone and told him that it just freaked me out a little, which he understood.... so he offered to go check on him.  He's still mad that Dad had called Karri that night instead of him...

I hung up from him and tried Dad one more time.  By now I could hardly drive because I was crying so hard.

He answered.

I just started yelling at him. I couldn't even talk to him.  Just told him to call Uncle Chad to tell him where he was.

He had no idea of how freaked out I had been... he had just gone to dinner at my cousin's house.  He does that every Wednesday night. I knew that, and Uncle Chad remembered it right after we had hung up and called back to tell me, I just didn't get his message.

He must have walked out the door right before I started calling, and his cell phone only rang the one time... the time that he answered.

It was silly. 

I should have taken a moment, taken a deep breath and thought about it.  But in that moment.. there was no thinking rationally.  I could only think about how terrified I am now of losing my Dad. 

My whole life he's been preparing me for his early departure.  But he's got to get over that now.  He's the only parent I have left, and I need him around for a lot longer.

And I need him to get better service on his cell phone.