When my grandpa passed away, my aunts and cousins had the daunting task of cleaning out his house.
I stopped by, but let's be honest, I was little to no help at all.
We were able to pick out a few things if we wanted to take them. There was nothing that I really had to have...but in the garage I saw a painting that I couldn't pass up.
It was a painting that had hung in their home for as long as I can remember, and had been painted by my Grandma Snookie's sister Aunt Toots. (ok, Vertis and Flossie...)
I hated to see it be thrown out, not just because I liked it, but also because my mom had a very special relationship with her Aunt.
I brought it home, not really sure of where I would put it, but knew that I would find a place for it.
The other day, it hit me where the perfect place would be! I was SO very excited! I just knew that Mom was going to be thrilled when she came to visit and saw it hanging in my house! I was so happy that I headed to the phone to call....
I was happy.
I was happy.
I. Was. Happy...
because I had forgotten.
I had forgotten that she won't ever come and see it
I had forgotten that she can't pick up the phone
I had forgotten the void in my life
I had forgotten the hole in my heart.
I had, for just the briefest moment, forgotten...and I was happy.
Damn it! I WAS HAPPY! My Mom was alive and I was happy!
and then I remembered.....
I'd like to forget again please.
Oh, Sara... many hugs!
ReplyDeleteSara I had the exact thing happen to me...the night of my mom's viewing I had finally found myself exhausted in a chair. Out of the corner of my eye was my best friend who had driven down from Wisconsin. I was so happy to see her b/c I had no clue she was coming. Afterwards we went to my mom's favorite place to eat so her and I could catch up abit. I was still just shocked at the fact that she had driven down to see me even if it was for just an hour or so. She had gotten up to use the restroom and I was still in such shock that she had come down I picked up the phone to call MY MOM. It then hit me that I couldn't share that with my mom...my mom was the reason she was down. Ugh. That feeling sucks.
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