The individuality of grief is very interesting to me.

I read an article earlier this week about the things people want their friends to say or do after a loss.  But what a tricky, tricky thing that is.  What one person wants or maybe even NEEDS to hear varies so much.

People have always compared me to my Dad.  We are SO similar in SO many ways.  Yes, I apologize for this... I tend to think I got a little screwed on the gene dispersion.

My Dad goes to the cemetary several times a week.  Since Mom died, he's put up pictures of her all over the house.  He needs that.  It's part of his process.

It is NOT part of mine.

I have no desire to ever visit her grave.  Dad asks our opinion on what to put on the tombstone, and I'll tell him even if I don't want to see it. I don't want to see the trees planted in her memory, or see a light that is hung in her name.

She is dead.  I know this and I hate this and I don't want any tangible reminders of it.

I don't mind talking about her, in fact I need to talk about her, but right now I have a hard time looking at pictures of her.  That is part of my process.

And how are people to know that Lewie and "Little Lewie" can be so different?