Sunday, January 2, 2011

My Mom.... She's a Firework... Just not a Sparkler... Because those will put your eye out!

My mom is dead.  I've said it a million times in the last month, but it still hasn't seemed to fully set in.  I'm not sure when it will.  If shock hurts this bad... I can't imagine what reality will feel like

My heart is broken…. My life is altered.

My mom had a massive heart attack.  She did not suffer.  She was sitting on the couch with a plate of food on her lap.  She put her hands down on her lap, put her head back, and had a smile on her face.  She didn't struggle. She just died...

What you need to know about my mom is that she had horrible self-esteem.  She told my dad a year ago that she didn’t have one single friend she could tell her troubles to.  She was SO wrong.  I grew up in a town of less than 600 people… 600 people signed the book at my mom’s visitation and funeral.  There were so many flowers, that the funeral home started telling people not to order them.

My mom never understood how many people loved her and how many lives she affected. 

I don't listen to much music outside of the soundtracks for Disney movies these days, but I did happen to hear the Katy Perry song floating around right now.  For some reason, "Firework" makes me think about my mom.  I love the song, but can't listen to it without crying.

But I've decided that's exactly what my mom is now.  She was this beautiful person, with this incredible spark, and now she's up there in the sky showing her real beauty off... and maybe she's finally seeing her self that way too! 

So if you get a chance, check out the lyrics, or search youtube for the video.  And then let me know if you agree that my mom.... She's a Firework....

Firework--Katy Perry

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag
Drifting throught the wind
Wanting to start again

Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin
Like a house of cards
One blow from caving in

Do you ever feel already buried deep
Six feet under scream
But no one seems to hear a thing

Do you know that there's still a chance for you
Cause there's a spark in you

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July

Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gunna leave 'em fallin' down-own-own

You don't have to feel like a waste of space
You're original, cannot be replaced
If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow

Maybe you're reason why all the doors are closed
So you can open one that leads you to the perfect road
Like a lightning bolt, your heart will blow
And when it's time, you'll know

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July

Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on slet your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gunna leave 'em fallin' down-own-own

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
It's always been inside of you, you, you
And now it's time to let it through

Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on slet your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gunna leave 'em goin "Oh, oh, oh!"

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon

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