Mom's birthday rolled around again.
It should have been her 65th.
On that day, most of you saw my Facebook status where I said something along the lines of
"I don't miss my Mom any more today just because it's her birthday. I won't miss her any less tomorrow because it is not. I miss her EVERY day because she was amazing."
I don't foresee there ever being a time that that statement ISN'T true.
There are definitely days when her presence... or lack there of... is noticed more.
Lately, it's been a lot.
James was needing to do some property tax things because of his veteran status. Even though we are in another city, county, state... I knew I could call her and ask her what he needed to do.
I was driving to see Lindsey and it hit me in the car.
"I'll call Mom! She will know!"
Oh. I can't.
But I WANT to call Mom... because she would know.
but.I.can't.
but.I.WANT.to.....
Potty training...swim lessons... babies thriving... rolling over... ALL reasons why I wish I could call her and talk...
If wishes were horses....
Dad got her headstone set in place. He has been a bit obsessed with it. He wanted to talk about it... he wanted to show it to me...
I.don't.care.
I don't need physical reminders that she is gone. I can't foresee EVER needing physical reminders that she is gone.
I'll see the headstone eventually. One time. Because Dad can't live forever.
